Starting tomorrow it'll be 12 days till my father's birthday and then 13 days till my final prom. Life is happening so fast, after a few months I'll be heading off to college to experience more and hopefully fulfilling more of my dreams. I haven't fulfilled much during my high school years but then again, not everyone succeeds during this crucial stage. I just have to have faith and believe that I can do more.

I have decided that Paulo Coelho is now a part of my all time favorite authors. I just went through a bunch of his sites and read about his achievements and such. He's a cool man. I wonder if I'll ever get the chance to write as amazing as him. The future can always change, so we'll just see.

My phone as been quiet today. Gaby isn't going to load this week ( I think ), so my phone won't be ringing much of "new message". LOL. Life is crazy when I don't talk to my bff's. It's weird, you know! It's FREAKY! :D

Not much is going to happen to me since I'm here in Laguna. Oh well. Things can wait for me to finish them. "I am never late, everything else is just simple, early" (I changed that wrong. oh well. Yikes!)

I have a new favorite quote!


Gaby and Mon know why. -smile!-

Well, that's all I have to say for now.

xoxo

Labels: college, graduation, life, Paulo Coelho

Labels: dont let the fall keep you down, photograph, trixx

So we just had our 41st foundation day! Yay! It was fun, super major sound system! They used speakers like you'd usually see at major concerts. It was literally the bomb. lol.

I chilled with the same crowd. Danced along with the seniors, I had to. I just couldn't believe that I knew the steps. I made a mistake or two, but that's ok. It happens. I'm just proud of myself. I should be! I'm proud of my whole batch. We did awesome. Go us! (I'm to tired to type down the full detailed explanation of the day. lol)

GTL (Gandang Tanghali Kuya) Thanks Congressman Edgar San Luis for lending us your sound system and for the variety show that was open to all. It was a blast. Congratulations to all the winners earlier. (:

Uhm, so yeah. The usual day. I didn't go to Manila tonight, I'm to tired. I'll go back next week. It's time to rest here in Laguna. Yiih. So what to do tomorrow? Read? Homework? Oh my, is this really me? Haha. I knew I wanted to type something down, but I forgot, I might remember it later.

Prom is near, I'm kinda excited I think. I want a new book! I wanna read "The Man Called David" (title?) all I know is that it's the book after The Lost Boy. I love David Pelzer's books. He's an amazing writer.

So I'm going to be hanging out with the bff's next weekend. Wanna chill? Find out where we're going and we can chill. We're nice people. We don't bite. :D

I'll blog out more later.

Labels: 41st foundation day, don bosco high school

It's been one week since I've last gotten the chance to post something new. There's a lot that's happened to me, but I don't feel like blogging all about it. (:
I got to hang out with "crush" most of the week. I hung out in their room. Yay.
I'm going to the mall later, I'm gonna buy some new books and then finally buy Alvin's twilight. He's been waiting for it for so long. So what's new with you guys?
I have nothing to blog about right now, I guess. It's still early so I'm still blank.
ttyl

xoxo
So it's official. My laptop does have a virus. Damn that sucks. Well I guess that means goodbye inter for maybe about a week. Yay for me, that means, I have to live without the internet for awhile. :D Now isn't that just going to be fun. (Sarcastic much)

Anyway, today was fun. I had these mood swings. I'm not sure why, but I had them. I guess my senses didn't want me to stay in one emotion. But I'm kinda over that now.

After school was fun! Crush chilled with the seniors. He's part of the group. LOL. 5th grader hanging out with the seniors, interesting. We chilled at mcdo then we ended up talking and talking, laughing and laughing. It was pure memories for the future. We found out so much about other people. We now know the girl. ehem! Anyway, that's over with now.

My contract is now officially active so there's nothing I can do about it. Sadly, I think it's for the best. For you and I. (Generally speaking. LOL) I'm not sure if I'm excited about it though. haha.

So yeah, this is goodbye for now. Keep reading my blog, you won't regret it. I may sound boring now, but when I'm in the mood, I'll blog with full detail, You'd feel the emotion too. :D

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You know the rest. Be safe.

xoxo
I think this may be my last post for awhile. I think my laptop has a virus so technically I can't use it. I don't want the virus to get worse. I'm gonna have my laptop reformatted soon enough, I just have to save all the content onto a portable drive.

I start yearbook editorial tomorrow. Yay. I'm not sure about being happy to go to school tomorrow though. I'm still a little light headed from last week. LOL. Just wish me luck and pray for me, okay?! Thanks to those who care.

Random : Robert Pattinson is hot with his short hair, and Chace Crawford is just plain hot! :D

School, school, school, graduation! Yikes! I can't believe this is it! It's our final quarter! I don't think I can handle the emotion that's going to happen. Is this real? Am I really going to graduate?! Shocks. I just can't believe that I'm going to college soon. Things will be ok, they will be. Hopefully.

Ugh! I'm going to go read a book now. You should do the same too.

xoxo

Labels: graduation, trauma

I just felt like updating a lil bit. If I were to tell what happened throughout the time I was gone. There wouldn't be for me to say. I know, it's awkward. Me, having nothing to say, gasp, it's not like me to be quiet. I know. But hey, for the first time, I have now experience not sleeping for more than 8 hours in two days. The reason why? Exams, and term paper. It was all worth it though. Now I am free to sleep all day long and not care if people think I'm being a bum. I deserve it! doi.

Anyways, I'm here in Manila now. I plan on sleeping all day tomorrow (Saturday). I might talk to some people, that's if I have the strength to do so. I feel so weak right now. I'm to stressed and tired. I wonder if college will be like this week. It's something to think about, you know.

Next week I start yearbook editorial, then there's practice then there's prom and camping, then uhm, I still have to fix the sound system. I feel so blah!

My mind was so blank yesterday, that I didn't even realize I was still writing. I didn't even know what I was writing, but apparently it was about vampires. I don't remember thinking while writing though. But I do remember the back pain. I can still feel it now. LOL.

Well, I think I've said enough for now. I' m gonna go hit the sheets and catch some zzz's, wait scratch that. I'm gonna catch a lot of zzz's, I need all the rest I can get. I don't wanna be insomiac again, it's hard getting back the normal sleeping hours back.

xoxo

Labels: exams, sleep, term paper

I was having an ok day. I woke up at 2am to go home to Laguna, I got to school at 5:58am. I didn't go directly inside, I slept in the car until 6:30 then I finally went in.

I was being optimistic that today would be an ok day. I wanted to be positive about everything. I tried, I really tried.

I was having an amazing time during Electronics class, everything was going just fine, I understood the topic, and I listened. I was being the perfect student! I was being studious. I was being who I wanted to be.

Then the rest of the day came. Filipino was the usual crap. Nothings changed there. Religion was the usual. There's an exam tomorrow, so I'll be studying for that.

Our second period of Filipino class was exchanged for English since we really needed our term papers to be finished. I was still positive about everything, even if I kinda spaced out while Sir Artell was talking. All these thoughts came into my mind at once. Then I waited for my name to be called. Time was killing me, the pressure, everything made me feel like the room was closing in between me.

He calls my name, I thought i got another rejected outline, I look at the paper and I see a grade! "Yes!" I scream, finally getting what I've been waiting for so long to happen! I finally got an approved outline! I know really have the chance to finish and pass my term paper in time! I have the chance to pass his subject! I will do everything just to finish it. I won't sleep, eat, breathe!

This term paper means a lot to me. Not only for the grade, but for the pride. If I finish this term paper I will surely be proud of myself. I'm thankful to have my best friends who are there to help me, I will help them with anything they need, even if they don't ask, I will help! They are amazing people in my lives, I'm blessed that they are my bff's. I love you guys!!

So that was the good part of my day.

Science was next. Ma'am Carol told us that the results of UST were now with our principal. I was terrified to find out what my result would be. I couldn't stand to think of another failure. If I have failed, it would be another depressing day for me. So I have it now, I just don't want to open it. I can't handle another failure. I'm already a depressed kid, need I be more depressed than I already am?

ttyl. I gotta go sleep for an hour then after that I'm doing all that I need to do. If I can't sleep, then I won't I will do it all tonight and still not be sleepy tomorrow. I will suceed! I won't stop until I do. I am determined to be who I want to be and I will prove it to all those who doubt my potential.

Labels: determined, fail, hopeful, i, not, potential, will

The ACET results are out! I'm so scared! I hope I passed. If not it's another reason for me to cry. I've had enough disappointments for the year 2009. I really hope I got in. I would scream my head off all around Laguna and Manila just saying that I passed! I seriously really hope I got in. To write is my passion, journalism is what I want to do as a career. My life is ready to be written through my words. I will pray to the Gods that my life is set on doing what I do best. I can only really express myself through words.

I'm so scared!! Guys help me be calm! arrrrrrrh.

Labels: acet, last chance, passing

So today is my parents 21st wedding anniversary. When I woke up this afternoon I didn't know that it was their anniversary (mean me, right? huhu) I only found out when someone told me. My dad gave my mom a boquet, aaaaw. So sweet.

I didn't do much today, I did print out my term paper research. The problem is I don't know how to do a term paper. This could be easy for me if I wasn't so distracted. If only I knew how to paraphrase. I know how, but it's just different for me, since I'm not used to paraphrasing to planned stuff. I usually paraphrase on the spot, it comes more naturally to me. So that's my dilema.

I had an ok day, I haven't been awake much. I slept at 2am and woke up at like 11am. At least I had 9 hours of sleep. It was complete! Yay for me. I had a weird dream. It wasn't about the person I was thinking about before I went to sleep. I would have rather had it be about the guy I was thinking about. (ehem, he's busy right now, well he's always busy, so there's no difference. lol) I don't wanna say what the dream is about. It's to weird. The plot of the dream was that I was in college already. (:

Andrew (the tiger) is doing just fine! He finally got the chance to rest. People have been making him dance to Single Ladies all week long. Weird, right. He's been talked to, thrown in the air, hugged, held my the head, and so much more. He even had a pictorial! (thanks to Ben and I) I have no idea why I've gone crazy over this tiger that Crush gave me. It's just so cute! When you stare into his eyes, for some reason you'd actually feel sorry for him and you wouldn't even have a reason. LOL. So that's what's up with Andrew! Who knows why he's named Andrew? mmmmmmm.

I'm going to catch some zzz's now. Dad and I are going to play tennis tomorrow morning before I go and "do" my term paper. Once I find out how to paraphrase, it'll be much easier for me. Trust me, it will. Oh dayum it! I forgot I have to change to sub-topics, my sister is right so I should follow what she said. So yeah, that's it. till next time.

xoxo
It's 1:11am! Here I go again, staying up late and not doing any good. I'm talking to Gaby right now (which by the way I would like to apologize to for keeping her busy doing my blog. sorry).
So we have to pass it next week and I still don't have an outline! I'm freaking out here people! I have no clue how I'm going to finish this. I really need that outline so I can pass it and actually get a good grade. I don't care if it's 80-89 as long as I pass it, I will be ok. If not I'd probably cry. There's a good reason for me to cry about it. If I don't get to pass it, my grade in English will go down fast! I'm not ready to accept that kind of failure.

I'm here in Manila now. I got here at around 8pm. I got here 4 hours earlier than I expected. LOL.

I had a great Thursday night! 3 people know why! You know who you are! (:

I had a great Friday too. I was listening during Electronics class, I guess I dozed off during Computer class and I don't think I was thinking much during PE. It's weird only having 3 subjects on Friday. It's weird!

I talked to Joseph Gonzales earlier. He didn't say anything back so I didn't bother talking again. The sad part is that someone pulled him over to me. I felt sorry for the kid. Crush was his usual self! He hugged me earlier! Yiiih. I got "kilig" haha. That lil dude is sure fun to hang out with. He sat next to me during recess too. I don't know why though. Go crush! (:

Exams are next week and I'm not prepared, but I will do everything just to pass! I will not sleep! I will not eat! I'll do everything just to pass! I need to pass! I will pass! I finally have faith in myself! I will pass my term paper complete! I will do everything I have to do! I will not leave anything behind. People may hurt during the process of the completion of my tasks, but we all get hurt and we just have to accept it!

So next thing on my mind is that I wanna write this song titled "promise" or something else. I can't spell so I won't even try. haha. I have a few lines in my mind already, let's just see if it'll all go together in the end.

By the way, the only thing on my mind right now is HIM and my term paper. and of course the possibility of me not caring about my phone anymore! oh my! That was awkward, before I lived off my phone and now I don't care about it? What's happening to me people? LOL. Just kidding. I guess I finally just got tired of the tech world.

xoxo

Labels: crush, friday, joseph, thurday

Hey people, it's the second day back and I'm already more stressed out. Why? Cuz of the impromptu quizzes that have been given and of course the monthly exam given to us in Economincs class. It was about 105 items. 
So there's school tomorrow and I don't want tomorrow to come! No offense, but school is a drag. Ugh! I'm so stressed. eh?! I don't think I'm thinking straight right now. It's like all blah up here.

Oh well. I'll blog again some other time.

Everyone should go visit martinsays.com
Martin is one awesome guy. haha


Well today is Sunday and I have school tomorrow. Bummer, I'm not that ready to go, but at least I have a reason to wake up in the morning.

Yesterday didn't go so well. I found out my result from De La Salle, and sadly I didn't get in. I was disappointed in myself. And I still kinda am. I didn't take the failure so well. I was really confused after reading the result.

Tomorrow is another day for me to work harder to get what I want. I will do everything I have to do just to fulfill all of my dreams. You can believe in me or you can doubt me. But that's not going to get to me now. I am doing this for myself. I can do this. I now have the determination to face the world. Nothing can stop me from being who I wanna be. You don't have to like me, cuz I'm not forcing you to know who I am, but one day, the world will know how I made a difference.

I fell but now I'm standing up again, and I'm going to try and try until I get what I want. I'll work hard. This is just another obstacle the Lord is putting me through. He did this because he knows I can handle it.

I just wanna thank Gaby, Mon, and Ate Isabel for sticking with me. You guys helped me. Thank you.
I'm going to the mall with my bff's today (you know who you are). We're gonna go ice skating. It's going to be really really cold. They said that it's already cold outside and I bet that it's colder inside the mall. Oh well, it's always cold anyway, for now at least. When summer comes it's going to be as hot as hell. LOL.

Well this month I'm finally getting the results of my college entrance exams. I'm really scared about that. I really hope that I passed even one of them. Since I saw the results of my last entrance exam, I've been having doubts about every exam that I've taken after that. It's a scary feeling. It really is. So now all I need is a few confidence boosts so I can get all my confidence back on track. Wait, I don't think that made any sense, but that's ok. I think. haha. (:

So I'm gonna go get ready now. ttyl. mwah!

xoxo
What is exactly a dream? Is it always supposed to be positive? Why are the negatives have to be called nightmares? But still, even if it's negative, isn't it still in the branch of a dream.

My definition of a dream is different. It's a state of mind that keeps the nerves alive. It makes you want to believe that tomorrow will always have something better to offer. Is it fake? Is it real? No one can ever really know. But why do we dream? Is it so we feel good? Why can't we just face reality and accept that life isn't a stupid fairy tale book people make with the stupid "happily ever after". They make those books because they wish their lives were like their stories. Why do we let ourselves follow in their footsteps? Living, breathing, hoping that one day a prince charming/damsel in distress will come and swipe us off our feet and make us feel lighter than air? Life is not a book that is already written for you. You're here to make the lines that go inside.

I never felt that I'm supposed to be here. I never felt that I belonged, was needed, wanted, nor did I ever feel that I was truly loved. I've always been the excuse, joke, substitution, useless rag doll. That's why I've already given up on these so called dreams, I was born in this world already feeling at a young age that I'll never be enough for someone to be proud of, told that I will never reach my potential, that I'm wasting my studies wherein I'm nothing, and that I will only be a disappointment to humankind itself. Throughout my 15 years, I've accepted all that has been negatively thrown at me.

I tried to be everyone's friend. Not realizing fast enough that I'm being abused. I knew what was going on but I never took action. I don't regret doing the things I've done, but I do regret not doing anything to change it.

Dreams don't just give you hope, they can even ruin you. How? It's when you expect something to happen and when you almost reach it, it gets crushed and you breakdown into tears, wondering why it just had to happen to you. You made the decision to have faith, you crushed yourself into what happened. Who else do you have to blame but yourself.

What makes it worse is when it happens to you each and every day. You want it to get better. You do all that is possible for it to change even a little bit. But you still end up with the worst. What is left for you to do?

So what do dreams really mean? Are they meant for good purposes only or are they going to help you realize that you're life isn't a book. How are you going to live now? By the fairy tale fake life or by facing reality and write what you want to be known for?

Are you going to start now? Or wait till it's almost to late.
Hey everyone, this is my blog. And I will try to keep up with it as often as possible. I need some way to remember all my memories and I do think this blog is the answer. Since on my last birthday I was looking for a way to see how much I've changed, this could be the answer to that too. So yeah.

Today is the first official day of 2009! Yay. Now isn't that just great. I didn't do much today. I slept at around 2am and woke up at around 11am. I had the weirdest dream ever. It had to do with Mark Nelson and Barak Obama (sp?). It was freaky but then at the same time it was really cool.

Instead of making new years resolutions that I know I won't do. I'm not gonna make any, I'm just going to do whatever I wanna do and if I suceed and make accomplishments then great. I'm ready to start this year with a bam, you know what I mean? I'm gonna make this year one of the best years of my life. This is the year for new experiences and risks. Let's take them all while we still have the chance. Not everyone is immortal (but I wish I was). Do you agree with me? Let's all take the risks we were afraid to take before. (:

So how did you guys spend your New Year's Eve and day? C'mon tell me about it. I would love to hear about it.

Labels: new stuff, new year

Starting tomorrow it'll be 12 days till my father's birthday and then 13 days till my final prom. Life is happening so fast, after a few months I'll be heading off to college to experience more and hopefully fulfilling more of my dreams. I haven't fulfilled much during my high school years but then again, not everyone succeeds during this crucial stage. I just have to have faith and believe that I can do more.

I have decided that Paulo Coelho is now a part of my all time favorite authors. I just went through a bunch of his sites and read about his achievements and such. He's a cool man. I wonder if I'll ever get the chance to write as amazing as him. The future can always change, so we'll just see.

My phone as been quiet today. Gaby isn't going to load this week ( I think ), so my phone won't be ringing much of "new message". LOL. Life is crazy when I don't talk to my bff's. It's weird, you know! It's FREAKY! :D

Not much is going to happen to me since I'm here in Laguna. Oh well. Things can wait for me to finish them. "I am never late, everything else is just simple, early" (I changed that wrong. oh well. Yikes!)

I have a new favorite quote!


Gaby and Mon know why. -smile!-

Well, that's all I have to say for now.

xoxo

Labels: college, graduation, life, Paulo Coelho